I migrated to Ottawa in 1977, which is a long time ago. I came here as a visitor from Trinidad & Tobago. My papers were being processed for me to migrate to the US with my siblings. However, I was invited to visit Canada, so I thought I would just visit Canada and then I’d go meet my siblings in New York. When I came here, I ended up getting a job and I even got married.  A year and a half later, I was pregnant, and my husband passed away suddenly. As a newly wed couple, we had bought our first home but I had to give everything up since that  home was not insured. Ironically, I gave up my babysitting job the same night my husband got ill and passed. Life was very, very  tumultuous then but lots of decisions had to be made regarding me and my unborn baby’s future. I then applied for my entitled widows pension.  I was offered only part of my husband’s income which was insufficient to live on. The Canada Pension portion depended on the birth of my child because I was only 26 years of age. That was a shock to me because my husband always said I would receive this income if ever anything happened to him. That was not the case.

Living in this city with little money, a baby on its way, and having to make arrangements to give up my home was extremely stressful.  I spent all my time crying wondering how I was going to bring up my child alone with no house, no money and none of my immediate family or close friends are around me.  That was the beginning of my life in Ottawa making me strong and determined to achieve goals in life. I realized that you cannot take life for granted. To any newcomer here in Canada: make the sacrifice and have some form of insurance. And never stay at home alone. Find a group, join a student association or a church, ask your embassy to connect you to other associations from your culture. This can help you to make long lasting friends. My grieving process lasted longer than it should have because I stayed at home alone with my baby.  I was isolated for too long with no one to talk with and nowhere to go. Life was very, very difficult also because I was a new immigrant and I did not have friends to lean on for help.

However, I was brought up to be strong, to be independent and ambitious, to respect people and be kind.  Those qualities were very important to me.  I focused on the best scenario for me and my son.  After college I worked hard to provide for us and to replace the home we lost.  He was my strength and focus. Today we’ve both achieved what we wanted in life. My greatest joy is my son, his wife and his two children.  We all live together.  For me, that’s one of the biggest achievements in my life as a single mom.  My son adopted good life qualities.  Having us as a family, all together living and enjoying each other everyday is a blessing.

At first when I came to Canada, it was not easy.  There was nothing like the modern technology we have today. You miss your family.  Making an overseas  phone call maybe once a month would cost a lot of money so you would have to talk very fast. Sometimes the connection was not the best.. I encountered prejudice in the workforce, never getting the same recognition as my peers. If any immigrants out there are in that position, don’t just stay there and feel sad and worried. Be strong and brave and do not underestimate your ability to move on.  Find a job where people appreciate and value you for who you are and your ability.  I however found a job later on that treated me with respect.  Connections are so important. People can’t help you with so many needs as you start to network..

Now, I’m part of the Ethnocultural Seniors Network run by the Social Planning Council of Ottawa. There are many different ethnic groups and we all help seniors by preventing loneliness and isolation. There are no barriers even if a senior is from your culture or from another culture. If anyone needs a helping hand, you go and you help.  My senior group visit different parks; we have lunches together, play games and we enjoy a good conversation. We share cooking and  household tips and are interested in other cultures. Some of our seniors are from Canada. One said “I made plantain but it turned out very hard, it wasn’t good and enjoyable.” They did not  know when to fry plantains.  I purchased plantains and educated them on when and how to fry plantain.  We get to educate everyone about our culture, and we learn about theirs. That’s the beauty of sharing your culture. Being part of a group like this, you learn to respect each other’s viewpoints. That’s what makes a healthy society.

When you’re away from home, your friends are your family. Make as many as you can.